First of all, you may be wondering what marriage mediation is? Most of us have heard of divorce mediation, which is a neutral party that assists a couple in getting a divorce. So, the likely and correct answer is, marriage mediation is a neutral party that assists a couple in making the marriage work.
Marriage mediation is not meant to replace intensive therapy that a couple or either of the individuals might need. The purpose is to help ward off a possible divorce in the future by addressing issues today. The professionals who are involved in the day to day business of family law, counseling, divorce mediation agree that if the couples getting divorced today, had taken note of their situation several year prior, perhaps they could have prevented divorce altogether.
Maybe this is you, and you feel that the divorce that you had in the past could have been prevented, or perhaps you have been considering divorce and wonder if there is hope for your marriage. Here are three ways that Marriage Mediation could be useful.
1. Marriage mediation is the perfect process to stop and take an inventory of the current relationship and work on issues that are becoming a problem for the couple. Possible issues could be, how the family money is being earned and spent, division of labor, as in who is doing what around the house on a daily basis to keep things in order, how decisions are made to earn, spend and invest money. As well, issues relating to the rearing of the children, and the couple’s relationship, such as how much time is spent with extended family, in-law issues, travel plans, education and extracurricular activity decisions and expenses for the children. The result of this might be that you have put your marriage back together. It might also be that you decide that you do need to move towards a divorce, but that at least you have exhausted the possibilities of trying to make it work first, without rushing to divorce.
2. Marriage mediation is an extremely useful tool for the couple that is not married, but has chosen to live together, and is struggling to put things in order to provide equity and sanity in their relationship, while also protecting each other’s financial and emotional interests. More and more couples are choosing to live together and not marry. Most people do this because they feel is prevents them from ever needing to get a divorce, should the relationship not work out in the future. The fallacy is thinking that living together and not marrying will prevent any issues in the future. There are still many serious emotional and financial issues that can be a problem in the future for these couples. Creating a plan or an agreement for the two of you would provide clarity and bring peace of mind to the relationship. Consider this a systematic way of creating guidelines to operate by. The result of this could be an informal or formal agreement between you.
3. Marriage Mediation is essential for the couple that is preparing for marriage now or in the near future. Now is the best time to sit down together and talk about the expectations of each of you and to address any concerns with a mediator. The result of this could be just a better understanding of what to expect after the excitement of the wedding. It might be an informal or formal agreement about your finances as well, if that is something that interests you. If you can smooth out any rough patches now, you may prevent problems down the road. Perhaps you are not even sure if this person is right for you and you want to use this process to ferret out a possible mismatch.
Today, people are waiting longer to marry, which means more people are living together unmarried. Without some agreement between the two of you, you are vulnerable to each other’s expectations and laws that you may not even be aware of.
Some people think that formalizing or creating an agreement between the two of you, can take the romance out of a relationship. It can actually put the romance back in the relationship, because now that the details are handled, you can focus on each other!